So many things have been happening!

Wednesday: We get a picture of my Uncle's MRI. The tumor looks like a marble. We find out that he might get to have gamma knife surgery, which would mean that he wouldn't have to have his skull cracked open for surgery. That's good.

I found out that on thursday, friday, and the next week I would be having to do Audeamus meetings. Cause I couldn't have been told earlier. Nope. I was left off the email list. Intentionally or unintentionally, it's really freaking annoying. And I did not have the patience to deal with that idea.

I had to be the head teacher for my HNPG 9 class. I prefaced it that I would have to answer any phone call, cause of my uncle.

Thursday: We find out that Uncle Dwayne should have surgery immediately. But he's not getting it for a few weeks. That sucks.

I played Rock Band with Allen, Evan, and Sam. Sam is cool, I'd like to hang out with her more, I believe.

Friday: Allen left for Vegas. We find out that my uncle has to have regular brain surgery, so his skull will be cracked open. Got first drunk text from Allen.

Saturday: Spent all day writing, then went to Matt's Window's 7 party. Oh dear nerdiness. With a side dish of awkwardness. Turns out that one of my best friend's ex girlfriend is dating one of Matt's roommates. Got about....five drunk texts from Allen.

Sunday: Not feeling well. Allen came back, yay. I had a three hour meeting for a project for theater that was due the next day, we thought we'd all have to pull an all nighter...and then class was CANCELLED!

Friday:

Bad news.

Sometimes I get too much bad news too fast.

Today I got an email. Uncle Dwayne's cancer is back in his brain. Well, he has a 2.9 centimeter tumor on his right frontal lobe.

And then my coworker. The one with the cancer around his spine? It's terminal. there's nothing that can be done. They're stopping treatment.

I feel like I want to cry.

Best quote of the week

"Well yeah. That's Lolcats. Lolcats are lolcats. They bridge social barriers."

Best. Typo. Ever.

"That jolly old elf with a belly like a bowel full of jelly."

You can't make this up.

Hello, internets

I am a bit overwhelmed at this moment.

I finished the story at 3:30 am. I slept through my alarm and was woken up by a text from Caroline. She's in labor! she's having her baby!

I check online, and three proofreaders backed out cause my story was too intense. Another two couldn't open the document. And three only read the first couple of pages. Oh dear.

Printing out...my printer ran out of paper. Got some more at Allen's. Then it ran out of paper again. Printed at reprographics.

AUGH!

I'm still flying high on adrenaline.


Then today in workshop we were talking about stabbing someone with a potato peeler. Yeah.

OVERWHELMED!

Writing: The process

Right now I'm writing a difficult story. I know this. I know it's tough.

I knew it was going to be tough to write. The story is very close to a situation that happened to a friend. It's not exact, no, because that would be impossible. But the idea of justice in the story, that is a very real feeling for me in regards to this friend.

Yesterday, it almost broke me. I got overwhelmed with the idea that even in a story world, I could not bring justice to this friend. The story was going too slowly, and the main character just didn't act. It wasn't that he didn't have enough motivation to act, he just...didn't. He was paralyzed with inaction, and it was tearing me apart.

I broke down in tears yesterday, and sobbed. I felt like I completely failed my friend, by failing to make this story good or to make this story real. I felt, and I still somewhat feel, that I will be failing my friend if this story is not the best it can be.

I had to majorly rework the story to justify why the character was not active right now. I had to introduce some sort of doubt into the story. Cause if he had no reason not to, then he should've acted already. But, because of the constraints of the story, I couldn't let that happen.

I really ought to not exorcise my personal demons in my prose writing.

First exerpt from my story

Here's a tiny little bit of the story.

*****

Mother sets the teacup down on the thin china. "I wish him luck." The teacup almost tips. "May he live his life well."

Some of the coffee drips onto the perfect saucer. Words are difficult. "I'm glad you're okay, mum."

She smiles, frail, the corners of her lips shake. She glances out the curtained window. 'When'll you come back for another visit?"

"I don't know, mum."

Her lashes look down. "The tomatoes will be ripe next week."

I stand, she's small in her chair. "I love you, mum."

"Give me a call if you need money. Or anything."

"I will."

She stares at her white hands. I walk out, my shoes clicking on the linoleum. She keeps it clean, her kitchen is always spotless.

****

Overheard at work

V: Who wants coffee!
K: Ohhh...I do....
V: What's up?
K: I'm trying to give up starbucks.
T: Oh good luck. I tried that. It never works.

freewriting

I was (finally) able to freewrite a scene. It turned out well.

Then I wrote another scene that I'm particularly proud of.

Maybe I will be able to write this.

I'll try.

It's due in a week.