Responsibility

Sometimes I get tired of being responsible and reasonable. I get tired of doing the smart thing, being the reasonable person to come to for advice. I get tired of always thinking ahead at what needs to be done, rather than what I want to do.

Sometimes I want to stay up the whole night. Watch movies, hang out with friends, write, do something but stay out all night. But I know I have work in the morning, and I'd regret it if I didn't get enough sleep. So I don't do those things.

I feel like I grew up too fast. I feel too young to be concerned with a career, to be concerned with such "grown up" problems that I'm facing. I feel too young to be able to give proper advice, yet I give it anyways. What if I'm wrong? That haunts me.

I wish I could let go for a while. To not care about my reputation. To not care about how much sleep I get or whether or not I'm making the right choices. I want to be able to have fun. To take what classes I want to take without having to jump through loopholes.