Angry sick rant

Ever have those days where there are a lot of really not so fun little things going on? That's today and yesterday.

Crazy dream after Ren Faire

So I went to the Northern California Renaissance Faire this weekend. It was a blast. It was amazing. I will write about it more later. But probably not on this, probably in some sort of script. I will send it to those who ask when I actually write it.

But yes, this blog post is about my dream last night.

So, in the dream I was being chased by some odd corporation through an indistinct area at USC. At least, I think it was USC. It was also at some sort of a mall, or random shopping center that had school stuff in it as well. I think. There were stores and then there were study areas. That were also religious expression areas.

But yes. I was being chased for some sort of genetic testing. and it was imperative that I MUST get away from them. I was being chased by a woman (who looked surprisingly like George at Ren Faire) and they needed me for something.

I would run outside, trying to make as many turn as possible, stay and try to catch my breath and have a conversation with someone about those who were chasing me. And then the chasers would be right there and I'd have to start running again.

So I ran into the second floor of the USC commons, and got a bit ahead of them. So I ducked into the room, which was filled with the Ethiopian episcopalian univeralists group. I swear, that was what it was. They were in the middle of their chanting exercise. And despite being the Ethiopian group, they were all blond haired and blue eyed. The main guy kinda looked like a young Rutger Hauer from blade runner. I asked them about that, and they told me to not be racist. But they let me hide there. I could hear my chasers asking about everyone. They told them they needed me because I'm talented, and they needed me to breed. That rather scared me.

And then, while I was sitting in the corner, hiding, my chasers just appeared right in front of me, their arms all crossed. They grabbed me and hoisted me up, putting me in handcuffs. The Young Rutger Hauer just shrugged and said they were more persuasive than me.

And then the dream got weird.

I got taken into a facility where it was all about exploiting the subconscious. They would hook up me and my fellow prisoners (one was Dustin Hoffman) and we would see what was going on in their subconscious on the big screen. Yes, my subconscious was dreaming about my subconscious. The weirdest one was someone was dreaming of someone, but could only see their hair, but their hair was covered with tiny holograms of their face in blue and pink. That and someone was dreaming of running around and chopping up people's arms.

I had an opportunity to go swim, where I met with a young man who I fell in love with, but by this point I was destined to be with the young Rutger Hauer. My captors kept on presenting me with all the reasons why I had to be with him on an excel spreadsheet.

Quotes of the day

In class, we had to write "scenes of seduction".

as a result, there are some hysterical quotes of the day:

• "He palms her ass with fervor."
• "Ken doesn't turn to acknowledge the Man though he can feel the Man's eyes on him, creepy and lusting."
• " Jesus, boy I hope you were using a rubber!"
• "Of course there’s cat hair back there, this is a cat hotel!"
• "When I smoke weed, the rhymes come right out of my soul and shit."
• "Dude, I ain't making no motherfuckin gay-ass sex tape with you."
• 
  

Well

Well, I didn't get into the finalist round of the International Page awards. Yeah, I'm bummed.

At least I made it rather far. Top 25. That's pretty good.

I need another one of these

I have been beaten up a bit, and having problems with self worth. so, here's another positive post.

1. My acting class is fantastic. It's fun to explore, it's fun to try things out, and it's fun with the people.
2. I am worth enough that an amazing guy loves me, picks me up from the train station, cooks for me, and rubs my back. I am worth enough that I was able to get into one of the most competitive schools in my field, never-less the world. I am worth enough that my sister gave me her old pirate coat. I am worth enough that I have the freedom to live my life away from my parents, with two adorable kittens, and an amazing apartment.
3. I am a woman who knows how to shoot guns, use knives, run, cook, dress in interesting (and sometimes weird) ways, pull off a short haircut, shop at a thrift store, write about spirituality, wear a cross necklace, wear hiking boots, plan out healthy menus, stay in a stable relationship, watch a movie and know why it works, walk up to seven miles without a break (possibly more, just haven't tried) and bring people to tears with my writing. And these are all reasons why I should love myself as a person. And no one can take this away from me, and I shouldn't LET anyone take this away from me just because they're insecure or manipulative.