So, my newest story is dark. Dark dark dark dark dark.
I can't rely on my usual proofreaders for this one. It's morbid, it's violent, and it has disturbed most people who I've told about it.
Research for it has been giving me nightmares.
The worst part? It's due Thursday, October 8th. So I have practically zero time to get adjusted to the idea of it. So it's all cramming down in my head all at once.
So, my three or four readers of this blog, do any of you want to help me with this? I'm going to need questions to write about. I'm going to need feedback. I'm going to need a proofreader that's not going to blast me for the subject matter.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
So, homework has started and I'm in an odd mood.
Yeah, homework happens now. I have a two page paper to write, some fiction to read, and some nerves to gather up.
Oh yeah, that's cause I'm starting acting tomorrow.
I'm scared. I'm scared shitless.
What if I make a fool of myself and no one thinks good of me? What if I disappoint? The fact that Brenda might be teaching does not make things easier. She knows me. She could be disappointed if I don't do well. There's also the bugging thought: what if people don't like me as much cause of my acting? What if I make a fool out of myself? What if I'm awkward?
Also, it's been a while since I've written fiction. The past two years have been almost exclusively playwriting and screenwriting, which are two MASSIVELY different beasts than fiction. A part of me wonders if I've lost my edge. This frightens me.
Ironically, the only class I'm not nervous about is the class I have absolutely no experience in: TV writing.
Maybe that's why. There are less expectations. If I suck, I can play it off as not knowing what I'm doing.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
My opinion on the matter...
I don't know about you, but I'm grateful for my education. And I am very grateful for my professors.
I have had many professors here at UC Riverside who have positively and greatly impacted my education and my writing.
Goldberry Long: She first introduced me to the idea of freewriting. The idea that sometimes you just need to let yourself writing, that you need to get things on the page before even thinking of making it "pretty" or gramatically correct. She taught me the idea of having multiple conflicts over a story, and how there are more possibility for conflict with three characters rather than two, ect. ect. She taught me story structure and how you have to base your writing in the creative effort.
Michael Jayme: While Goldberry taught me the creative ideals, Jayme put a lot of emphasis on the technical aspect of writing. Everything was scrutenized for grammatical errors, even the critiques. Comma splices, sentence fragments, and interiority. Oh, the interiority. Everything had to be different levels of interioirity, and those who got that got the good grades.
I would not have been able to learn if they were not in the classrooms.
Just because you're pay is being cut, you do not have to harm the students by walking out. We have to pay more now, don't give us less than what we paid for.
I have had many professors here at UC Riverside who have positively and greatly impacted my education and my writing.
Goldberry Long: She first introduced me to the idea of freewriting. The idea that sometimes you just need to let yourself writing, that you need to get things on the page before even thinking of making it "pretty" or gramatically correct. She taught me the idea of having multiple conflicts over a story, and how there are more possibility for conflict with three characters rather than two, ect. ect. She taught me story structure and how you have to base your writing in the creative effort.
Michael Jayme: While Goldberry taught me the creative ideals, Jayme put a lot of emphasis on the technical aspect of writing. Everything was scrutenized for grammatical errors, even the critiques. Comma splices, sentence fragments, and interiority. Oh, the interiority. Everything had to be different levels of interioirity, and those who got that got the good grades.
I would not have been able to learn if they were not in the classrooms.
Just because you're pay is being cut, you do not have to harm the students by walking out. We have to pay more now, don't give us less than what we paid for.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
BEST. TWITTER. CONVERSATION. EVER.
writerLynSomeone thought I was 14. That sure inspires confidence in me right before starting my senior year of college. I need to cut my hair.
IHateThisSANC@writerLyn Try looking 16 and about to have a baby. That's fun lol
tonybaltierraThat's called Juno, Caroline: RT @IHateThisSANC @writerLyn Try looking 16 and about to have a baby. That's fun lol
writerLyn@IHateThisSANC I love you. So much. I just busted up laughing at work, and now the marketing director gave me a funny look. THANK YOU! :D
IHateThisSANC@writerLyn Try looking 16 and about to have a baby. That's fun lol
tonybaltierraThat's called Juno, Caroline: RT @IHateThisSANC @writerLyn Try looking 16 and about to have a baby. That's fun lol
writerLyn@IHateThisSANC I love you. So much. I just busted up laughing at work, and now the marketing director gave me a funny look. THANK YOU! :D
Monday, September 21, 2009
Overheard today
*****
Bosses Boss from her office: Hey! They're offering me a free porno!
Secretary: A free what?
Bosses Boss: A free porno!
Secretary: That's a deal.
Bosses Boss: I've never seen one of those before!
Secretary: A porno or a free porno?
*****
Oh! Remember those student profiles that I STRUGGLED with? And got no response? Well, basically AGSM's runner boy came to drop off some print advertising, and he stopped and said:
"Oh! Thank you so so much for those student profiles! We loved them!"
Me: "Really?"
Him: "Yes! They were great!....Carolyn didn't email you back about them, did she?"
Me: "Nope."
Him: "Well, in this case that's a great thing."
Yay personal affirmation.
*****
Bosses Boss from her office: Hey! They're offering me a free porno!
Secretary: A free what?
Bosses Boss: A free porno!
Secretary: That's a deal.
Bosses Boss: I've never seen one of those before!
Secretary: A porno or a free porno?
*****
Oh! Remember those student profiles that I STRUGGLED with? And got no response? Well, basically AGSM's runner boy came to drop off some print advertising, and he stopped and said:
"Oh! Thank you so so much for those student profiles! We loved them!"
Me: "Really?"
Him: "Yes! They were great!....Carolyn didn't email you back about them, did she?"
Me: "Nope."
Him: "Well, in this case that's a great thing."
Yay personal affirmation.
*****
Sunday, September 20, 2009
So, screenplay
I got to page 100 on my screenplay today. I am on such a writers high.
They say that it takes 4-7 screenplays before someone writes a good one. So I'm one away from that.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Best non-sequitur. Ever.
Lyn
the writing was awesome, though
I only stopped cause my wrists got tired
11:53pmEvan
Oh?
11:55pmLyn
oh, I saw a guy riding a harley only in his whitey tighties today
I kinda did a wtf face at that
11:56pmEvan
I've been teaching yoeman girls how to flip a balisong
Eww
11:56pmLyn
yeah. It was on the 91 freeway, too
Friday, September 18, 2009
Peer Mentor Training - reflections.
So this week I have horridly been absent from the internet. Facebook has been the only one receiving any bit of attention, and even then not much. Twitter has had maybe three updates, this blog has been forgotten, and myspace...well...myspace is pretty much dead.
Overall, peer mentor training was remarkably smooth. No huge embarrassments, no weird tension with former friends, no massive sicknesses. I mean, it had it's ups and downs (I'm looking at you, Program Director) but it was overall good.
And it gave me some confidence. Confidence that hey, I've found something I'm good at that can help people. Cause as much as I love writing, it doesn't really have to many aspects of social change.
It's given me confidence that hey, I might be somewhat charismatic. I'm terrified of crowds, but who do I have myself to compare to? The theater department. They all, and I mean all (I'm looking at you, Rinata) completely outshine me in charisma and leading a group. So I was kind of gauging myself off of that. But I'm not too bad, actually. In the peer mentors, I'm actually fairly decent.
It's given me confidence that hey, this next years peer mentor group is gonna rock awesomely. Honors nine will be amazing. I'm sure of it.
It's given me confidence that honors is going in the right direction. Emily will be awesome. Emily will most likely be stressed, but awesome.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Bored at work
I'm relatively bored at work. I'm writing a profile for the business website.
So, to pass the time, I'm trying to think up the worst first lines of stories. Vote for which one you want to be actually made into a story.
****
"And then one day, she started buttoning her jeans differently"
"His desk was full of germs, all over, from the crumbs in the keyboard to the fingerprints on the monitor to the sticky tape residue left by some uppity secretary having the audacity to tape something to his computer, that bitch."
"Someone touched his kleenax box, he was sure of it."
"He was originally skeptical of such passing fads such as facebook or twitter, until he realized he could look up anyone - his ex-wife's mother will get what she deserves"
"No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't drive past his house without feeling like she was some how not needed to happen."
"When in a bad mood, she would call upon the god of cubical walls, the god of coffee, and the god of poorly designed computers."
"She only felt alive when she danced, which was unfortunate, cause she was a paraplegic."
"The cat was staring at him with it's tiny eyes again, he could feel it, he could feel it."
"He only went into work because the alternative would be to sit at home eating easy mac and watching bad tv show reruns, but he already did that this weekend and no one likes monotony."
"It's a lot easier to start thinking as a communal insect once everyone was considered equal, he had to give it that."
"Nothing could've prepared him for the pudding apocalypse, nothing."
"And on that day, she ran out of beef jerky, so those crap-spewing, teeth-smiling, pig-wearing, scaly son-of-bitches were gonna die."
So, to pass the time, I'm trying to think up the worst first lines of stories. Vote for which one you want to be actually made into a story.
****
"And then one day, she started buttoning her jeans differently"
"His desk was full of germs, all over, from the crumbs in the keyboard to the fingerprints on the monitor to the sticky tape residue left by some uppity secretary having the audacity to tape something to his computer, that bitch."
"Someone touched his kleenax box, he was sure of it."
"He was originally skeptical of such passing fads such as facebook or twitter, until he realized he could look up anyone - his ex-wife's mother will get what she deserves"
"No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't drive past his house without feeling like she was some how not needed to happen."
"When in a bad mood, she would call upon the god of cubical walls, the god of coffee, and the god of poorly designed computers."
"She only felt alive when she danced, which was unfortunate, cause she was a paraplegic."
"The cat was staring at him with it's tiny eyes again, he could feel it, he could feel it."
"He only went into work because the alternative would be to sit at home eating easy mac and watching bad tv show reruns, but he already did that this weekend and no one likes monotony."
"It's a lot easier to start thinking as a communal insect once everyone was considered equal, he had to give it that."
"Nothing could've prepared him for the pudding apocalypse, nothing."
"And on that day, she ran out of beef jerky, so those crap-spewing, teeth-smiling, pig-wearing, scaly son-of-bitches were gonna die."
Thursday, September 3, 2009
A chronical of today - Alone in the office 1/2
7:52 - I unlock the door then lock it right again behind me. I work in the UV. Can't be too safe. Especially when I'm all alone in the gigantic stratcomm office.
8:03 - Holy crap this place is huge.
8:16 - Posted on facebook about being able to hear the crickets. Within four minutes I got a fb message from the art director saying that they were watching me.
8:35 - I get my first phone call as acting secretary. It was from the actual secretary. Telling me that she left me some candy.
9:06 - I start to look up more furnature. This time doing a floor plan that's sadly to scale. Conclusion: I really can't do a full bed. Not it and my couch. Sad.
9:17 - Some very large guy just walked by, slowly. His footsteps echo along the outside of the walkway.
9:18 - Hey wait, wasn't Andy supposed to be here by now? I wanted to leave him in control of the office so I could go get some coffee. Dang it! I can't leave without him to watch over the office! And I want my coffee. Late nights at Angela's mean I don't get much sleep, and I need some caffeine.
9:26 - I might have to be alone in the office today with no caffeine. Holy crap. So not fair.
9:32 - Gave in and turned on my music. Slightly better. Still no caffeine.
9:42 - Ever wish you can wave your hand and make everything in your friend's lives better? Yeah, I'm doing that right now. I see some of my friends in utter pain, and I want to be able to convince them that things will get better, that this is not the ultimate moment of feeling in their lives, that things are not going to stay in this sort of status quo for forever. Life has it's ups and downs. This is a definite down, but it can move up. When my friends abandoned me after freshman year, I thought that I would be stuck in that funk for forever. But guess what. I wasn't. When Ryan and I broke up, I thought I would be stuck in that horrible feeling that I messed something huge up. But life rebounded. And life will continue to rebound. This is not hell, life will get bettter. Now if only I could actually convince someone of that.
9:50 - Just got an invite from Sarah for a possible game night. On Friday. I doubt I can come, cause I have to carpool down with Allen the next day for Sarah's concert. Darn. I'm gonna try, see if I can convince Allen to spend the evening with my dad or something...though that might be mean.
9:53 - First phone call from someone who was actually trying to reach someone. I told her to leave a message with the voice mail. She didn't believe me. That's just amazing.
10:04 - A song from high school just came on my itunes. Something like Silas. Weird. Brought back the emoness that is hume lake.
10:15 - I wish I had something to do. All I had to do today is make some quick gramatical changes on a short piece. But I'm officially answering phones for my job. Lovely.
10:37 - Nothing quite like getting story ideas and not being able to work on them.
10:39 - There are some people outside, yelling. I think they're downstairs. But they're echoing.
10:46 - Just found my office's supply of UCR mms.
10:50 - A hobo just raided the outside garbage can.
11:08 - I find out it's Marcia's, my bosses bosses boss, birthday today. I should probably not eat her mms, then.
11:14 - Getting lonely. Really lonely.
11:25 - Talked to Allen, he'll be coming over within the next half hour. And he'll be bringing food. And AJ will come and visit on his lunch visit. Oh thank god. People. And food. And caffeine. So much want.
11:28 - Somehow, after yesterday, Angela is not hungover. I don't quite comprehend her.
11:46 - I just successfully postponed my jury duty until the week after finals. Cause that'll be good. Doing jury duty during the holidays. At least it's better than during the first week of school.
11:48 - AJ's here!
8:03 - Holy crap this place is huge.
8:16 - Posted on facebook about being able to hear the crickets. Within four minutes I got a fb message from the art director saying that they were watching me.
8:35 - I get my first phone call as acting secretary. It was from the actual secretary. Telling me that she left me some candy.
9:06 - I start to look up more furnature. This time doing a floor plan that's sadly to scale. Conclusion: I really can't do a full bed. Not it and my couch. Sad.
9:17 - Some very large guy just walked by, slowly. His footsteps echo along the outside of the walkway.
9:18 - Hey wait, wasn't Andy supposed to be here by now? I wanted to leave him in control of the office so I could go get some coffee. Dang it! I can't leave without him to watch over the office! And I want my coffee. Late nights at Angela's mean I don't get much sleep, and I need some caffeine.
9:26 - I might have to be alone in the office today with no caffeine. Holy crap. So not fair.
9:32 - Gave in and turned on my music. Slightly better. Still no caffeine.
9:42 - Ever wish you can wave your hand and make everything in your friend's lives better? Yeah, I'm doing that right now. I see some of my friends in utter pain, and I want to be able to convince them that things will get better, that this is not the ultimate moment of feeling in their lives, that things are not going to stay in this sort of status quo for forever. Life has it's ups and downs. This is a definite down, but it can move up. When my friends abandoned me after freshman year, I thought that I would be stuck in that funk for forever. But guess what. I wasn't. When Ryan and I broke up, I thought I would be stuck in that horrible feeling that I messed something huge up. But life rebounded. And life will continue to rebound. This is not hell, life will get bettter. Now if only I could actually convince someone of that.
9:50 - Just got an invite from Sarah for a possible game night. On Friday. I doubt I can come, cause I have to carpool down with Allen the next day for Sarah's concert. Darn. I'm gonna try, see if I can convince Allen to spend the evening with my dad or something...though that might be mean.
9:53 - First phone call from someone who was actually trying to reach someone. I told her to leave a message with the voice mail. She didn't believe me. That's just amazing.
10:04 - A song from high school just came on my itunes. Something like Silas. Weird. Brought back the emoness that is hume lake.
10:15 - I wish I had something to do. All I had to do today is make some quick gramatical changes on a short piece. But I'm officially answering phones for my job. Lovely.
10:37 - Nothing quite like getting story ideas and not being able to work on them.
10:39 - There are some people outside, yelling. I think they're downstairs. But they're echoing.
10:46 - Just found my office's supply of UCR mms.
10:50 - A hobo just raided the outside garbage can.
11:08 - I find out it's Marcia's, my bosses bosses boss, birthday today. I should probably not eat her mms, then.
11:14 - Getting lonely. Really lonely.
11:25 - Talked to Allen, he'll be coming over within the next half hour. And he'll be bringing food. And AJ will come and visit on his lunch visit. Oh thank god. People. And food. And caffeine. So much want.
11:28 - Somehow, after yesterday, Angela is not hungover. I don't quite comprehend her.
11:46 - I just successfully postponed my jury duty until the week after finals. Cause that'll be good. Doing jury duty during the holidays. At least it's better than during the first week of school.
11:48 - AJ's here!
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
things on my mind
*****
I am definitely looking forwards to the John Williams concert. So much. The only part that's not as much is the idea that we will be driving from LA to San Diego that night. That'll be murder. Maybe I'll buy an energy drink.
*****
Just thought about that. No. Mr. Ed is bringing wine. I don't want to have an energy drink and wine. That's just bad.
*****
Maybe I'll get some of that Cardinale to bring, so they can try it.
*****
Allen and I had a fight on Monday. It wasn't a horribly dramatic fight, but it needed to happen. It pretty much spun from the fact that we hadn't had ANY alone time between the two of us since...since Colorado, pretty much. And that's from a combination of many things, a couple of friends broke up so we had to keep them company, family matters, work, ect. But regardless, it was bad. For both of us. So I took Tuesday off and we had a vacation together down to San Diego. I feel...much better? A bit on edge cause of the fight, but utterly relieved that we talked it out and both decided to make a bigger effort for the two of us.
*****
Dawn just told me I am monkey lady today. Great. So I am making copies and stapling and collating. That's just so much fun.
*****
Someone's holding a conference in the kitchen. So I can't really go in and get my water bottle. Bummer.
*****
I can't wait for Sarah's concert, either. I really want it to be perfect for her. I'm wracking my brains for a gift to get her for it, I really don't know yet. Probably I'll end up with a book. But I want it to be a bit more special than that.
*****
I had the most brilliant idea for Allen for his birthday. Awesome. Now to start saving time and money for that.
*****
I got my paycheck today, so I'm so going down for coffee right this moment. Me? Hyper? Always better.
*****
Okay so I got iced tea. That works.
*****
So I just realized that one of the secretaries is very negative. She's nice, but very negative.
*****
Someone's in to interview for Kat's position. Okay? That's fairly bizarre. I thought we had a hiring freeze, yet more and more people keep on getting more jobs.
*****
Today I think, after work, I'll go to the bank and deposite my pay check, I'll go home and get my car, put gas into her, then drive off to redlands for some writing and buy the Cardinale. My goal is to finally finish this fight, then write the next ten pages. And to not be concerned about being OUT of structure. Cause that's frustrating, but a problem for revision. Maybe I'll finish the fight scene at home, so I can have Allen and Evan to bounce action ideas off of. And that'll take care of the time to let traffic die down. And then I can eat lunch at home, reducing my costs. Yes. This sounds excellent.
*****
Tomorrow I'll be the sole person in the office. I think I'll bring my laptop for music. Heck yes. Though that will be INCREDIBLY lonely and boring.
*****
I am definitely looking forwards to the John Williams concert. So much. The only part that's not as much is the idea that we will be driving from LA to San Diego that night. That'll be murder. Maybe I'll buy an energy drink.
*****
Just thought about that. No. Mr. Ed is bringing wine. I don't want to have an energy drink and wine. That's just bad.
*****
Maybe I'll get some of that Cardinale to bring, so they can try it.
*****
Allen and I had a fight on Monday. It wasn't a horribly dramatic fight, but it needed to happen. It pretty much spun from the fact that we hadn't had ANY alone time between the two of us since...since Colorado, pretty much. And that's from a combination of many things, a couple of friends broke up so we had to keep them company, family matters, work, ect. But regardless, it was bad. For both of us. So I took Tuesday off and we had a vacation together down to San Diego. I feel...much better? A bit on edge cause of the fight, but utterly relieved that we talked it out and both decided to make a bigger effort for the two of us.
*****
Dawn just told me I am monkey lady today. Great. So I am making copies and stapling and collating. That's just so much fun.
*****
Someone's holding a conference in the kitchen. So I can't really go in and get my water bottle. Bummer.
*****
I can't wait for Sarah's concert, either. I really want it to be perfect for her. I'm wracking my brains for a gift to get her for it, I really don't know yet. Probably I'll end up with a book. But I want it to be a bit more special than that.
*****
I had the most brilliant idea for Allen for his birthday. Awesome. Now to start saving time and money for that.
*****
I got my paycheck today, so I'm so going down for coffee right this moment. Me? Hyper? Always better.
*****
Okay so I got iced tea. That works.
*****
So I just realized that one of the secretaries is very negative. She's nice, but very negative.
*****
Someone's in to interview for Kat's position. Okay? That's fairly bizarre. I thought we had a hiring freeze, yet more and more people keep on getting more jobs.
*****
Today I think, after work, I'll go to the bank and deposite my pay check, I'll go home and get my car, put gas into her, then drive off to redlands for some writing and buy the Cardinale. My goal is to finally finish this fight, then write the next ten pages. And to not be concerned about being OUT of structure. Cause that's frustrating, but a problem for revision. Maybe I'll finish the fight scene at home, so I can have Allen and Evan to bounce action ideas off of. And that'll take care of the time to let traffic die down. And then I can eat lunch at home, reducing my costs. Yes. This sounds excellent.
*****
Tomorrow I'll be the sole person in the office. I think I'll bring my laptop for music. Heck yes. Though that will be INCREDIBLY lonely and boring.
*****
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