Dream?

So I was a Bear Facts counselor again, but I was late to the meeting because I was really dizzy.  So I had no time to establish the rules or anything.  But my entire group consisted of all my mentees for honors...so it was okay.  They understood I was dizzy earlier.  It became more of a weird group of friends rather than a time of me leading everyone around.  I wasn't very effective as a BFOC, but I actually had fun that time.

But then, because I was late, I was put into an insane asylum with my mother, Bree, Jad, Allen, Jim my next door neighbor, Evan, Anna, Beth, Professor Jayme, Waiko, Noel, Brian, Andrew Mena, my Uncle Wes, Jessica Ivers, Carrie, Sarah, Dominique, and Ricky.  I guess they were late to something as well.  

In order to survive at the insane asylum, we had to break into a Costco without being detected.  We did so by cutting a hole through the wall of a Home Depot next to it.  We sat Jim down in a bright Orange vest next to us to make people think we were actually working for Home Depot.  Somehow, it worked.  

However, once we got into Costco, we were tackled and put into a wilderness.  A wilderness that had many many rivers to swim in.  They were all connected, but only half of them had Piranhas.  

Anyways, we were all having a ball of a time playing in the rivers.  There were parades, and my Uncle Wes put on a Suit of Armor to swim in.  Then we never saw him again.

We were all swimming, and Allen started a splashing war.  And Bree discovered a water slide connected to one of the rivers.  We were playing on that, the water was an emerald green, and having a blast.  Then Allen ran off somewhere, and I followed.  We stumbled upon another pond, it was calm and clear and opaque.  We waded in....

...and then were attacked by piranhas.   We ran up the side of the bank and behind some of the trees and found a castle.  We ran in there (the piranhas were still following us).  The piranhas then got shot down by poisonous darts, and Allen and I were suddenly in a giant playground.  Huge statues of greek gods stared down at us, as well as skyscraper sized swingsets and slides.  

Some people came up and followed us, they got shot with the poisonous darts.  It didn't kill them, just gave them a nasty welt and a sick stomach.  

So this is it

Downey Savings was bought out.

My dad has at least a months worth of work.  We don't know after that.

The oddest dream

So this isn't quite linear, but it's odd.  

So, I dreamed that Beth, Allen, and I were visiting a strange place that was a combination between Poland and Utah.  Instead of having bars, they had Soda bars.  They only served fancy types of soda.  It was kinda delicious and amazing.  We went Soda bar hunting, and got hyped up on caffeine.

Then, one day, we were driving through the country side (and Anna and Bree and Sarah were magically there with us even though they weren't for the Soda Bar part) and we ran across a Renaissance store.  I of course rushed in to try to find a bodice.  They only had chain mail bras and beaded stuff and they got really upset when I asked for a real bodice.  Apparently the government had outlawed them, except for people who actually worked for the government.  Allen was able to get leather armor, which he wore for the rest of the dream.  

We moved on to other kitchy little stores, but then, someone was following us, taking sniper shots at us.  The store officials had tipped off the government, and now they were hunting us down. Bree disappeared at this point.  We were told she was taken by the government.

Soon we were being all out hunted.  Beth disappeared, and so did Anna and Sarah.  It turned into Allen and I running from everyone.

We were hiding at the UCR commons (though still in Poland/Utah) beneath the outside set of stairs.  Yeah, you guys know which ones.  All of the sudden, though, a pair of velociraptor guards walked by.  They didn't notice Allen and I at that point.  However, some of the peer mentors walked by and noticed us.  So we got taken into this weird prison that was mostly underground, where they made us put on these sensor collars that made the Velociraptors hunt us even more.  We spent a large amount of time running from the Velociraptors.  At one point I had fallen over and had to get up in a hurry, and I was apparently very involved in this dream, cause I actually tried to physically get up, but my bed is to the side of the wall in my apartment, and I literally raised myself up in bed and hit my head against the wall.  It still hurts a bit.  

So Allen and I were put in a "reprogramming camp" where we had to participate in activities or be torn apart by the velociraptors.  Then the organized us by physical ability, and because of my hypoglycemia I got placed in a lower group of priority than Allen, and we were separated.  

Then it came time to officially be reprogrammed.  I was being herded down some stairs, and the person at the bottom of the stairs was none other than Ted Fay from my Romania team.  He was wearing dark robes and a mask, but I still recognized him, and he recognized me.  He pulled me aside and told me to go into the spanish reprogramming section, cause then I wouldn't know what they were saying and it'd be useless for me.  I grabbed Ted by the arm and told him to find Allen and send him in there with me.  Ted just looked at me through the mask and shoved me back into the crowd.

I waited at the Spanish reprogramming, and about half an hour later I was rejoined by Allen.  We hugged and waited for the reprogramming tv show to be over.  Neither of us were brainwashed.  

Everyone was rushed outside, where everyone was given a gun and they had to shoot a cameraman.  I looked around, and almost everyone I recognized was doing so.  Allen and I looked at each other, then started running away.

The dream ended in a stereotypical movie fashion where I heard a voice over saying:  "And then they ran.  They didn't know what would happen.  They didn't know if they would live.  But they still ran."

Note to self

Actually talk to people about my good times!

medical update

So my wrist isn't broken, I have a "severe bone contusion" And I have to wear the brace for the next two weeks.

And it ACHES in this cold. Aches like nothing else.

Sometimes I have to work on being optimistic. It doesn't come easy to me, especially when I have to depend on someone else for stuff.

But when I get super pessimistic, I need to remember certain things. I need to remember the random texts from Bree with the random science facts, random facebook chats with Evan when we're sitting next to each other, random kisses on the top of my head from Allen while we're watching Battlestar Galactica together, random singing and choir outbursts from Anna, random encouragements from Whitney and Dominique, grocery shopping with Anna, random song lyric texts and IMs from Beth, and random times when Jessica and I end up dressing completely opposite from each other.

So

I fell down and my wrist might be broken.  It hurts, and I am typing with my left hand now.  

In a blogging mood, but with nothing to write about

This will be random.

I need to go to sleep in at least an hour. Why? Cause I'm going to church. A new church.

I'm not entirely sure why I'm going. There was nothing "wrong" with my old one, it had amazing worship, okay preaching, and a fun atmosphere.

But lately I just felt out of place there. One sunday I just felt so wrong, so out of place, like a puzzle piece in the wrong puzzle box. Like I knew there was a place for me, it just wasn't anywhere near where I was.

That's actually something I've been feeling a lot lately. Like I know there's a place for me, I'm searching in the same general type of surrounding that I'm supposed to be, but there's something wrong with it. I don't know what it is.

My classes this quarter suck. For the first time at UCR, I feel like I'm not learning a thing. That...really makes me uneasy. I mean, Screenwriting is interesting, but I want to get to WRITING! I feel like I haven't done ANY! And that SUCKS! Maybe I've been out of my fiction classes for too long. Who knows.

I feel out of place in my friends sometimes. Not always, just sometimes. I want to just forget myself and be myself. I can sometimes do that with these friends, but not always. Sometimes it's fun to go to the theater parties. I don't drink, but it's okay for me to act something crazy, sometimes sensual, sometimes weird, sometimes quirky, and sometimes kinda off-kilter. But othertimes I feel horribly awkward in front of them. And it's weird, but I feel horribly awkward with the theater people at the times when I feel completely at home with my other friends. I can't really define it. The only person who crosses over these boundaries is Allen. I can (generally) feel comfortable with him. Generally.

Well, if you're reading this blog, then you probably know a bit about my life lately, and know that in the last part of september Allen and I broke up, then got back together three days later. One of the things that's still bugging me about it is the fact that I was taken completely by surprise by it. I had no clue he was having doubts about our relationship. And that scares me. Will that happen again? Will I just be blissfully unaware that something's going to crash, something's going to change, something's going to blow up, something's going to fall, something's going to explode?

And will I know if things will fall apart in other aspects? If I wasn't able to tell in an intimate relationship, how will I tell other places?