3 of my most favorite possessions

Continuing on this blogging thing. this one was, again, fairly difficult to iron down.

But I'm hoping that writing this will help me get motivated to start my outline. Again. This is like the 4th outline.

1. My camera. Yeah, the big old Canon digital eos rebel that's way less advanced then most point and shoot cameras are now. But I love it so much. So many good memories associated with that camera, and so many memories captured by that camera.
   
2. My flute. Cause it's amazingly beautiful, and I practiced so much with it for years. it saddens me that I haven't been as able to play it in recent times.
   
3. This one's gonna sound silly, but my external harddrives and backups of my stories. If my house/apartment started burning down, i would grab one of those so they wouldn't be lost.
   

4 things you wish in a romantic partner

Yeah, Allen fits most of these rather well.

1. MUST be caring. Without this, there is no hope.
   
2. Must be at least respectful of religions, if not outwardly religious.
   
3. Making me laugh is a plus. I have to be able to be silly with them, cause if I can't be silly, I can't be myself.
4. I would like them to be stronger than me, cause I am rather weak, physically, and having someone there to help out is great. Note that this is not a requirement, cause that'd be a rather stupid one, but something that is just rather nice.
   

6 people who mean a lot to me.

AND this one was difficult. I ended up doing a lot of "this GROUP" of people mean a lot to me.

1. The group of friends I call the science fiction cult. Even though we rarely get to watch science fiction together anymore. Bree, Beth, Jad, Alisha, Craig, Whitney, Liz. I could fill this entire list with just them. They are super supportive of me, they make sure I stay on the right path, and even though I can't see them as often as I'd like, I love them dearly.
2. The UCR creative writing peeps. Lisa, Jason, Brian, Estrella, Steve, Belen. Cause even though we didn't really start hanging out until like the last two quarters, they are super awesome and GREAT to encourage me with my writing woes.
3. Allen. Duh. I've written about how awesome he is, of course.
4. My sister. Cause we bicker like crazy, but I never realized how much I talk to her (especially online!) until she went away for basic and doesn't have constant internet. It was really painful the first three weeks.
5. My parents. Cause yes, we differ, but they're still great.
6. My classmates at USC. Cause I am as awkward as heck, and they still hang out with me, and we have tons of fun. AND we get productive writing type things done. Usually.

ten days of writing challenge.

The ten days of writing challenge.

Day 4: write 6 things you wish you had never done.

Well, this is difficult. For everything I could think of, if I didn’t do it, my life would be massively different, and not generally in good ways. So remember that when I’m listing these.

Also, these are rather vague. Deal with it.

1. Have crushes so easily and so deeply my freshman year of college. It made me ignore my schoolwork, ignore my true friends, put far too much emotional energy into it, and nothing came from it except for broken friendships and the knowledge that I would never have worked out with any of the three guys anyways.

2. My living situation for one of the summers in undergraduate. Yes, I was saving money, and living with a friend, but it eventually (like a year and a half and many twists and turns later) led to dissolving of that friendship and a lot of troubles with almost everyone I know. Granted, if I hadn’t, then I’d still be friends with some negative people in my life…but that was a painful way to do it, and it caused more problems than just the dissolution of that friendship.

3. Trusted one of the three people I hate. Ever. That man was never worthy of anything resembling trust. Granted, without that, I would probably have a way too idealistic view of humanity which would not have been good when entering the world…but it was very negative and hurtful.

4. Trusting a one friend’s dealings with another. I took this friend at their word, and didn’t realize that they were systematically lying. It almost cost me my friendship with the other friends, who are too precious to lose like that.

5. Taking the road trip up north freshman year. I was taken advantage of (or, rather, my car was), I lost money out on it because people wouldn’t pay for gas, and it was motivated purely out of selfishness. I didn’t really have any good memories from it, mostly just memories of people mocking me and tearing me down, and it gave those people the message that I could just be mocked and treated that way.

6. Being so timid my first semester of grad school. Granted, my summer was a bit traumatizing, and I didn’t really trust myself to make friends at all, but my classmates are awesome and they completely blew my expectations out of the water.

10 day challenge again

7 things that are always crossing my mind.

1. Hmm, I wonder what [character A] would do if [character B] did this. (you have no idea how much this crosses my mind. Especially when I’m trying to just pass time.)

2. Dear god children are annoying.

3. [insert random lyrics to random song here]

4. I wonder if I did _____ wrong.

5. KITTY!!

6. Oooh, Shiny! (I get easily distracted)

7. Damn homework…

Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.

Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.

1. cook me food that won't kill me.
2. Be available for cuddles, and lots of them. I am an affectionate person.
3. Understand that I am weird, and accept it.
4. Go with me on long car drives. Cause I am weird and can't stand driving alone.
5. Make me laugh, and make me laugh when I least expect it. Surprise me with laughter.
6. Be compassionate, and don't think the worst about people.
7. Let me play the video games with you. None of that "its for men" crap.
8. Actually, never pull any of that "it's for men" crap. I'll enjoy what I want to enjoy, and don't dictate it for me.

day two: 9 things about myself

nine things about myself? I think I can do that.

1. My self esteem is shit. And let me clarify: not my physical self esteem. I actually think I have a rather nice body most of the time. But my self esteem about my personality and self. I get paranoid, I constantly think I shouldn't be valued, and I have problems trusting that my own instincts are correct.
   
2. If you see me just sitting there, or sitting there and playing solitare or playing on my cell phone, I'm almost certainly thinking about my screenplays and stories. without fail. I do it while driving as well. I think about them a LOT.
3. I only hate three people. That number hasn't changed in about four years, verging on five. There are people I dislike, but not hate. it's a special quantification for me.
   
4. I have messed up dreams. Seriously people. They're like a psychologists wet dream.
   
5. I grew up in a very conservative area with very conservative parents who still believe that the government should run the country from the biblical laws, mostly.
   
6. I have a very musical background. I have competed with voice and the flute, and miss doing it actively.
   
7. I wasn't allowed to watch TV or movies until I got to college. Now I'm a film major. Yay!
8. I love apartment living. I can see myself living in apartments for a very long time, maybe in vancouver. I kinda hope to someday write for the Syfy channel and live up in Vancouver.
   
9. I have rather weak bones. I have broken three fingers, both wrists twice, my foot, and my upper arm. Yup.
   

It's been way too long...lets jump start it.

This is me trying to remember how to blog again, cause I also get more stuff done when I blog.

So here it is: Ten different items to write about over ten days.

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

Day Two: Nine things about yourself.

Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.

Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.

Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).

Day Seven: Four things you want in a romantic partner.

Day Eight: Three of your favorite possessions.

Day Nine: Two images that describe your life or yourself right now.

Day Ten: One confession

DAY ONE:

* here’s my heart. You have it. Be nice to it. You’re doing a pretty good job so far.

+ I remember, when I first met you about a year ago, I thought you were pretty ditzy and crazy. While I still think that, you’re also one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, and I’m so glad I got to know you beyond that initial impression.

- You have a stick so far up your ass you can’t see that you’re ruining your business with your greed. Relax. The customers are not the enemies.

+ This sounds small, but one day last semester I was having a horrid day, and you took me aside and gave me a hug and told me three things I should be proud of. That basically made my month.

- Please take things slower. I don’t know if you’re going down the correct path or not, but I can guarantee you’re barreling down it way too fast to tell. Wait things out. You don’t have to have the rest of your life ironed down right this moment.

+ You’re like a little brother to me, which means I kinda want to slap you upside the head, but seriously, I do want you to succeed.

- I still don’t think you’re aware of how much you hurt me. Stop pretending to be the victim, it doesn’t give you free reign to be a jackass. Also, people can’t read minds. It’s bullshit to be mad at people for not changing if you never told them that you had a problem with them.

+ I wish I could be as confident in my writing as you are. Cause you’re impressive. Maybe it has to do with age, or experience, but you impress me with how sure of your writing you are.

- Thanks for making me doubt my every word to you. Now I feel, whenever I speak or act and you hear about it, you’re gonna make my life hell again.

+ It seems strange of how good of friends we are now. But I love it. You are seriously one of the most supportive and friendly people I know, and I’m blessed to call you a close friend. You are patient with me, you are caring, and we have some awesome weird memories together.